Sunset Suppers: A Casual Conversation about Death

In serving the end-of-life community, the topic of death is something we as an organization face daily and is a reality our patients and their families have to come to terms with. Death is a certainty we all face, but somehow as a society, we don’t fully embrace or dare discuss it until it hits us square in the face. The topic of death can be uncomfortable and often cause people to put walls up even at the sheer mention of the name. This brings an alarming statistic: More than 60% of adults do not have advanced directives for end-of-life care if they become seriously ill or unable to make healthcare decisions. Together, we can overcome that statistic.

Project 4031’s Sunset Suppers, previously called Death Dinners, and developed from the concept of Death over Dinner were designed to eliminate the fear and stigma of talking about death to focus on past experiences and personal goals for ending life well for yourself, or a loved one. Instead of facing end-of-life challenges, we can start the conversation about death now and prepare to end life well.

In holding our own Sunset Supper events and taking feedback from our supporters, we heard loud and clear that talking about death is not only hard but a very intimate conversation for most. Soliciting for participation in the event proved to be tricky, even with softening the name. We took a step back as an organization but held our cause. Despite the challenging topic, some extraordinary ladies from the Fort Worth Junior League who served with our organization decided to jump in and take the conversation head on last fall. One member, Kristen, wanted to be a part of the Sunset Supper “To start a conversation that is often uncomfortable to talk about.” We were so moved by the group’s feedback.

Our Junior League friends weren’t sure what to expect from the conversation. Emily said she was surprised and shared, “Even discussing a heavy topic, we were able to be serious, but there was still laughter.” After the conversation ended, Emily said, “I felt much closer to the ladies at the table. I also felt peaceful about the discussions we had had.” Kristen said she “…felt appreciative to have had the opportunity to discuss these topics and felt ready to start thinking more about her own wishes.” The common census from the group was after facing the initial fear and awkwardness, they left feeling comfortable to continue the conversation with others in their lives and discuss their own wishes. A success!

We encourage you to hold your own Sunset Supper and join us in helping end the stigma of talking about death one conversation at a time. Email us at info@project4031.org, and we will be happy to share some discussion topics with you as you prepare for your conversation.